Feeling the Space...

2007-09-06

I know somethings going on...

Something is up. First there is the "accidental" shipment of nukes from ND to LA by B-52 (the ONLY reason we even know about this is because there is a whistle - blower). Which JUST HAPPENS to be a likely staging area for military operations heading overseas (much more so than ND). Now we're treated to ANOTHER Osama Bin Laden teaser. Sorry - but, I am convinced that Bin Laden is/ has been dead - for quite some time.

Tonight, I was listening to Mike Malloy in the car coming back from the *NEW* Glisan St. Fred Meyer (VERY nice store). There was just the most idiotic ABC radio news break (I really HATE the Evil Disney Corp) and there was a story - supposedly(wink-wink) there may be a NEW VIDEO from Osama Bin Laden that just might(wink-wink) be released on the anniversary of 9-11. BUT - I mean *BUT* - they have a "still photo" from the video (which they JUST said they don't know for sure exists - GOD they think we're ALL idiots) and -- BE PREPARED -- Bin Ladens beard is different! It's not gray anymore - now it's BLACK!!!
OK. Now ABC cuts to the "specialist" to give us more info on the Bin Laden beard switch - GET THIS! - all he says is (and I am quoting) - "the color of Bin Ladens' beard is not important. What is important is the message in the video." !! I almost crashed into a ditch at this point. The "specialist" says the important part is the "message" of the video, (remember - we still don't know whether it exists) not that the beard is now black. I hear that happens when you're dead...
I really REALLY have the feeling that we're being prepped for something that's going to happen. The sheer overt brevity of f-ing ABC to TELL US WHAT TO THINK!!! I'm just stunned....

Osama bin Laden : the newest fake

2007-08-29

Things I did last "summer"

Now that we're getting near the end of it.

Let's see...

From last April -->

Happy Birthday!

to MEEEEE! & Ms. Flameskirt... 39 years old...

The *new* front yard landscaping:

I like to call this look - "dirt".

Our 7th Anniversary (Aug 6th - Hiroshima Day):

Oy! Do we look old. And tired. Of course we really were tired - That was a workday for me - started at 3 am -also had an eye infection so my eyes look simply awful. Still - had a GREAT time! Visited the Portland City Grill (as seen here) then to Ciao Vito on Alberta (had a wonderful Maserati Margarita) then to Acadia on Fremont for an INCREDIBLE dinner. The went back to work at 5 the next morning. AAargh...

A trip to McMinnville to visit friends and do some wine tasting. The nice thing is that having friends already in wine country means they already have found the really really good places to go. All we had to do was get there!

Along Wilsonville road heading for Newberg:

Alan at the wheel (I don't have to drive! WHEEE!)

Almost at Newberg - HORSIES!

And we're there - Lloyd was more than happy to escort us around our wine tasting experience. We weren't disappointed!

Alan & Lloyd:

Alan & Me: (why are we tilting to the left? This was the last stop on our tasting tour...)

Even the car seemed right at home in this environment...

What a great view...

Dinner at Nick's in McMinnville. yes, our socks were knocked off!

(that's not a flower. It's my beet salad! I was too busy eating to photograph the rest!)

But I'm not dead yet...

Yeesh, what a summer.

Wait, wait - rephrasing that.

WHAT SUMMER!

There we go.
I'm actually still on the line for the "new" job that was supposed to be starting in April. They want me. I want the job. The deal is - they're only going to make an *official* offer once they have complete (5 years out) funding. That's fine with me. I've got 2 of my 10 fingers crossed.

I've been back at the whole job full on full time fully crazed...
I have yet to work a normal week since the "new" job collapse back in April. The month of July was a six day work week month. (for the math - 10.5 hour days * six * 4 weeks of July... equals 283.5 hours working)

Now I'm back to a lazy 5 day week in August - merely 52.5 hours a week.

And what do I have to show? I earned enough to pay for the repairs to my car and a rental while it was being fixed after being stolen, of course.

Other that that, I should be overdrawn by the time I receive my next paycheck. Before I left work on Monday, an *emergency* meeting notice went out for Friday the 31st. We've been informed that our health insurance plan was changing. From 100% employer paid (trust me - one of the FEW -well the- ONLY real benefit my employer offers) to very expensive employee paid plan. This means I've just taken a pay cut right at a time when we're struggling out of an Adjustable Rate Mortgage trying to get onto a Fixed Rate Mortgage - the only thing we're getting out of a re-fi is a fixed rate. No home improvement loan, no rolling debts into mortgage... all for about $200 MORE per month. I'm sure, REALLY SURE that my 27.5 cent raise this year is not going to cover this.

FUCK the Bush economic recovery.
I'm sure everyone else is still waiting for the so-called recovery to happen. I can't even remain stationary without sliding backwards...

Meanwhile...

others lives have gone on (and continue)

I felt like such a helpless gawker when I found out that Flameskirts' mother passed away. A very sad end to a remarkable woman's life. I think her daughters love & attention meant so much more (to her) than was understood -maybe than was communicated -?

I have an amazing set of friendships that have continued for quite some time 27 years, 17 years, 15 years, this January will mark the 9th year since my partner (to be) will have first met.
Watching these people grow and evolve and change as various parts of life affect (effect?) them has been amazing to see.

I've witnessed a very beautiful complex flower grow and begin to bloom. I'm anticipating how it's going to develop in the future. I have a feeling it's going to be an amazing sight.

If I could only manage to turn the lens around. I saw a photo of myself from 20 years ago! Aside from the truly bad 80's hair... I was SO YOUNG! OMG!
Now I'm so old...

I found myself backtracking. letting my memories come back of experiences over the last 20 years. I can almost pick out the crossroads. I had a small choice to make - this way or that - that led to a change that affected the rest of my life. Where will I be in 20 years? I guess I have made more progress. I am so much more aware of the decisions I make and where they might lead.

2007-05-22

The Truth about 9/11

I found a notice about a lecture at Portland State University by David Ray Griffin. I managed to go, having been up since 3 am made it quite a chore. The Smith Center ballroom was SRO! I'd guess 700-800 people (from ALL walks of life) in attendance.

I've been studing the events of 9/11 since 2002. I think the nation as a whole was in a 'state-of-shock' for a long time (far too many still are) after that date. I started to slip out of the coma when Bush stated up the war machine in 2002. I knew the election of 2000 was a fraud. I knew Bush was a COMPLETE liar. So, when Iraq, Iran, N Korea suddenly came up on the scope all of my internal fire alarms / red flags / sirens started going off. I hadn't yet discovered the internet as far as being a useful source of information/unfiltered news/opinion at the time. I was looking all across the TV for any ANY source of "real' news. All I could find was corporate propaganda - Good Morning America just acted as a mouthpiece for the Bush Admin (between segments of crap like Diane Sawyer being sung to by a corporate logo sock-puppet...). All I could come up with was The Daily Show - Jon Stewart and his complete dis-belief/outrage over what the corporate media was feeding us in the runup to the war (presented as comedy, of course), and Democracy Now (on one of the 3 locally run cable access channels that Comcast has graced Portland with). That's 1.5 hours per day of some kind of realism to be found on the spectrum television has to offer. Sometime during 2002 my television got turned off. For good. During the countdown to the attack/invasion/occupation/destruction of Iraq, I finally turned to The Internet. I just started searching. I found Altercation, DailyKos, Eschaton, TBogg. Then I also found WhatReallyHappened. I found sites that asked questions about 9/11 and highlighted the inconsistencies over the timeline of events. It really was an experience like The Matrix. Oh My God! I've taken the red pill by mistake! I had an experience that was a combination of dizziness/nausea/migraine-like that I feel constitutes the 're-awakening'. Once you're here you can never go back.
At this point I've seen the 9/11 Commission report deflated and exposed. This isn't a "conspiracy theorist"(whatever that is supposed to be...) position or organization. It's actually exposing and bring the FACTS to light. Once the TRUTH is exposed, the make-believe (government -neo-con fantasies we've all been fed) just simply can't hold up.
I went throught 2003 and the start of the war on Iraq trying so desparately to tell friends/ relatives that we've been lied to! The war is a fraud! The responses I got in return were so sad. "What about 9/11?" "What about the terrorists?" etc, etc, etc. In fact I STILL get those responses. In 2007!
Farenheit 9/11 was released in 2004. That really helped. many people I knew were suddenly jarred into reality. Even those that had voted for/ supported Bush!

Anyway, what this is really leading up to, is that -as someone that considers 9/11 to be a completely staged event - there are some recent happenings that I find - that ARE truly frightening.

> May 9, 2007< Presidential Directive that allows Bush to assume dictatorial powers in the event of a terrorist attack or another hurricane Katrina or some other "emergency".
I originally found this on the Progressive website, which now appears to be down!?!

Still Here...

What a spring.
Had a great B-day. Met with Ms. Flameskirt for breakfast(it was her b-day too). The next day, I had a job interview. Not the best option, but seemed to be promising start with a small company offering a decent starting salary, benefits, as product support role for an interesting - even ingenious - product for contolling/safeguarding prescription meds at hospital/care facility level. Went great! Was offered the position. I went to work on that Friday, wrote up my 2 week notice. Finished off my exit interview paperwork (2 full pages written on everything wrong/right about my job, and why I'm leaving it).
Down to 4 days before starting the new position, 1 day left at the old job. I 'm out on my *NEW* Trek Mtn bike (b-day present!) when my phone goes off. I stop, answer. It's my "new" HR manager, sounding really weird. She's not happy. Needs to inform me that they're withdrawing the offer. But "it's not you". But, "I've already quit my job". But, "Maybe they'll hire you back".
UGH.
Gloom, despair. I'm in the middle of nowhere. trying not to lose my breakfast that I'd had earlier w/ Lisa & Eddie.
!st things 1st. Dammit!
I finished my bike ride. It got longer & longer. Had to go home eventually. 8 hours later and 5 free drinks at the Chinese Village from Kenda and 1/2 of the regulars there, I had to give my glorious news to Alan. "Uhm, well, ... so. I have no job to go to on Monday. They withdrew their offer." Ouch. I'm NOT good with bad news.
Other wise, old job was THRILLED that I was back. Got LOTS of hugs & "sorry that SUCKS" from everybody including old/same boss! Now it's just like it never happened, working so many hours my head is spinning. But I need that overtime if I'm going to make the mortgage...

Trying to get back on that job search horse is the hard part now. How do I say... my hearts just not in it?

2007-03-15

WTF!?! from GARRISON KEILLOR?!?

I'm (almost) too stunned to comment on this! From Dan Savage : "... country has come to accept stereotypical gay men—sardonic fellows with fussy hair who live in over-decorated apartments with a striped sofa and a small weird dog and who worship campy performers and go in for flamboyance now and then themselves. If they want to be accepted as couples and daddies, however, the flamboyance may have to be brought under control. Parents are supposed to stand in back and not wear chartreuse pants and black polka-dot shirts..."
(bolds are mine)
OMG!!! Now I have to throw out ALL of my chartreuse pants and black polka-dot shirts!!! How WILL anybody recognize me???

HEY! It's (almost) a new record between posts!

I've been busy applying for jobs again. Off to a promising start. I've had 2 interviews from the first 2 applications! Not bad for the first 2 in about 2 years!

One thing I've noticed is that the 21st century economy really sucks!! A great many % of the postings I'm seeing are paying wages $12 an hour or less. These aren't entry level jobs, either. My mother sent me an article from her newspaper, the Tri-city Herald (which is owned by McClatchy news service) which is just wonderful - far better than the Oregonian, about wages - showing in great detail that a living wage is far above the minimum wage (that's Oregon - Washington not Federal) right about $15.00 an hour. I currently earn less than $12 an hour. Every time gas prices go up 15 cents a gallon I really notice. Suddenly I can't make it from one paycheck to the next. I've been taking out "payday loans" to get an advance to the next paycheck. That really sucks AND is humiliating all at the same time! And to think: If I work really really hard I can get a 27 cent an hour raise this YEAR!

2007-02-07

Brought to you by the same group that gave us the "Defense of Marriage" ammendment

Oh this is good. Right-wing crazies that just love to tell you how they're all for getting government off the backs of the people bring us this latest doozy: the "Have children or else" amendment!

360 tons of CA$H?

ugh..hmmm, I'm trying to get my noodle around this: OK. 360 tons of $100 bills. ouch.

OK. I didn't leave the house yesterday. I won't be leaving today. I can't afford to drive unless it's to & from work. I can only eat, at this point, if it's from scratch. No Taco Bell, no Starbucks. Yet my own government shipped 12 billion dollars! to Iraq?? The same government that I have been paying $2500 in back taxes to - or else have my bank account confiscated(I was unemployed for 26 out of 48 months - didn't have "taxes" withheld from my "income")!?
It's amazing - that me - hard worker, non-trouble-maker - is so much less important then throwing money at this middle eastern debacle of our own making - with the hope that some of it ends up at the right place.
So incredibly dis-heartening.
Thanks George Bush.

And the hearings continue...

I've been trying to reduce information as to what's been going on out the media reports on "Scooter" Libby trial. I have read transcripts and really haven't been able to deduce that much of what's happened. I just read other's writings and gather up what information I can retain (not much there either). I do know that what has come out so far is that : When pResident Bush gave the 2002 State of the Union address and informed us that Iraq was attempting to buy nuclear materials... - surprise - he was LYING. That he had indeed been told that the whole - yellowcake from Niger 'load of crap' - had indeed been proven false. That didn't stop him from getting up in front of the American people and both houses of congress and deliberately lying.
Hmmm. I wonder what the penalty for lying to congress AND the American public at the same time is? Or better yet- What would the penalty be for a Democratic president? I'm sure this is just one of MANY outright lies to be uncovered at this point...

There goes our reputation...

The United States' standing in the eyes of the world continues to plunge...

2007-01-10

Post-Holiday Recovery going well...

public transportation rocks!

It's really amazing how the holiday time in December and January takes up so much of the year - all the planning, travel, shopping, etc. Yet when it's all over it seems like it all went by like a blast of wind - it came & went - now just a memory.
Our "vacation" was jam-packed with activity planned for every moment.

po-dunk county courthouse that started it all

We had a great time inPhilladelphia. Everything is so old I really wanted to see everything, unfortunately, not in 2 days...
Taking the tour of Independence Hall is defintiely a must-do. The park rangers the guide tour groups must have degrees in history to be able to do their jobs. The guide that led our group would mention certain points - several times - I don't know who else in our group received the same impressions left on me - discussing the formation of the 1st congress and the separtation of powers - we were told repeatedly -"the President is given one job and only one job - to protect & defend the constitution"... I thought - how timely - our current "president", by allowing changes to the constitution, has violated his oath of office. Impeachable? MESSAGE RECEIVED!

shouldn't I be signing something in here?

Standing inside Independence Hall was another awakening to reality- what a tiny building! In fact, a county courthouse where a bunch of transplants from europe met to plot a revolution. Hmmmm, now what would todays Republican Party say about this group of yay-hoos....? I'm sure British-owned Fox news would be labeling every one of them a terrorist. Dangerous, every one of them! Lock them up! Off w/ their heads! And when the yay-hoos weren't using the space (most of the time) it was the Pennsylvania state legislature... (and courthouse).

not exactly for Judge Judy...

the fragile foundation of our founders

I'm left with such a felling of fragility - the concept of what was intended at the start of this great experiment of democracy - and how it can all be gone and over with before we, as a society, even realize what's happened.
I can't help but wonder if it's not too late.

The East coast was so surprisingly easy to travel in. It worked out that we were staying just a few blocks from the end of the SEPTA R7 line. We could take that all the way to Trenton, make an easy transfer to NJ Transit Authority, then stay on board right into Penn Station! We caught the MTA subway up to 77th st& 5th ave, then just walked with our luggage (nobel prize to the person that put wheels on suitcases) over to 84th st & 1st ave. Once on E 84th we spotted the bldg where Jessica lives...

looking North at 1st Ave

looking NorthEast across the East River

looking directly East

same views at night

this is the view FROM THE BED!

This was just a stunning apartment, er, make that penthouse. I'd guess about 1500 square feet. Maybe. About 1/2 the size of our house in Portland. But enough that if we were renting, it would've cost us $690 PER DAY for our 2 day stay there. Needless to say, we volunteered to come and do cat-sitting for Jessica whenever she's in need. We won't even charge for it!

Even with the amazing crowds during the holidays in NYC I know why people fall in love with this city.

something funny was about to happen here at the Shubert

breakfast w/ Jessica on Park Ave.

my pilgramage to The Dakota is finally realized...

of course, Strawberry Fields...

If this is any indication, we are truly doomed (on Rockerfeller Plaza GE/NBC, etc. bldg)

Of course, no trip would be complete for me if I didn't manage to come down with some kind of horrible virus/infection/pheumonia/etc... I manage to get a really nasty bug, by the time we hit New York City - I had completely lost my voice. I went to a 24hr pharmacy (lots of them here) and survived by the over-the-counter miracle that is Zicam.

2006-12-02

Worst President Ever

Wow! Now even the Wash Post is saying it!